Wow it is a great day..... But last night I can't sleep well, always awaken in middle of the night with the creepy sounds and my imagination is beyond my power..... So , my dear friends i want to advice you all.... Don't ever hurt other peoples feeling if that person like revenge may cause damage in your life like me..... I am so stress up with my ex-boyfriend ... I once loved him when i was small .... so , that time for me love is kind of nothing just like playing game... that is the big mistake i did... i didn't took serious with his love... he is actually very elder than me.... so he is serious in his love but not me..... So , when i grow up and have more mature thinking then i start not to love him and feel like he was disturbing my life.... and want to avoid from him...... then i told him  i don't like him and want to clash with him...... but the worst part is he want me and he don't want i leave him.... i like hey you my thinking different... and i like more mature and i feel my love toward u gone..... but he still courage me... and i give another chance to myself and except him back... Eventually the second chance just a waste... i can't love him ... i feel i am hating my self by lying him i love him... bit by bit i try ignore him... sometimes he cried because i do like that to him.. i want he leave me and better he find new life partners because i can't make him  happy when i not love him... i started to dislike him...... but i feel very pity at him... and i ask clash again... but this time... i told i am not a good girl better you find other life partner .. u will be happy than with me .... but he become very angry and talking like a drunk person.... i know i did a big mistake by not take his love seriously ... but that was when i am  small kid...... he need to understand that but he won't.... and i try make him the bad guy by telling many things.. but that time i feel very hurt... i do like this to make him hate me and leave me and find another girl to replace him..... but he start to take drugs... OMG i like what!!!!! and try my best to advice him don't think about me you can find another person that more better than me... but he told that no one can replace my place.. i touched... but same time i know i am the one wrong... i can not fix it... so i just pray to my god.. May god help me and help him as well to find life partner... after 4 months i didn't reply his text and didn't took a call.... and made him very frustrated.... i got PLKN.... i went there and i saw a very handsome guy..... i and him fall in love... this is true love...... i willing to do anything he also.... he take good care of me... n i also.... like we made for each other..... i am so happy with him because mainly i love him.. and he love him... and i know my love not play toward him because i started become mature this time....... hmmmm......... somehow my ex know that i am into someone... that is when the big trouble come into my life that make me crazy and always in fear..... he  started to be rough with me......  i told him i clash with you and i find a life partner that match with me..... but he can not take the fact..... he told he thought i am his wife but i go to other guy... i like hry you i am not yours anymore!!! will you leave me alone...!!!! but until now already 6 months he want torture me..... he started to hate me..... and want take revenge on me.... so , he called my mother and told i love with him because his money.... my mother started to dislike me... everyone in my family don't want talk normally with me... everyone look me like a bitch... sorry using bad words.... it is really hurt me alot... the scar on my heart still not cured... i feel like dying..... now he told me that he want come to my house.... he want to disturb my family's happiness ... everyday stay in fear,..... but the thing is he coupled with other girl.. the girl he coupled with is my own friend..  really shocked me.... but i really happy at last he find a girl to replace me.. but still he don't want erase my memory..... he told me that he can't erase memories with me and keep killing him when have relationship with his new girlfriend..... but the fact is... we need to be captain of our mind.... so he can erase my memories bit by bit.. the first thing is he need to leave me...... and don't ever come near me... but he still have contact with me.. my friend told me please don't take away he from her... Hey what the hell you are thinking of me... i won't do like that to my friend.... i try ignore him but he told me if I do so he will come to my house.... Just once or twice he called my mother also it become a big problem in my family... If he come to my house and told everything what we both done when we have relationship..... hmm.... until now i need to have contact with him but as friend..... i not do like that just want avoid he come to my house not at all... if he come to my house and expelled everything... then what i need to worry about.. he won't torture me anymore... but i want to be his friend although i don't like him and hate him because i want to cure his heart and i want him to forgive me...... i the one did wrong so i take this punishment...... but this is really painful punishment because every time i and him chat in facebook he will hurt me with his words... he tell all the bad words....   and hurt me... i don't know until when this will end ..... i feel want to die also..... then i no need to face this punishment...... although my family hate me i still love them so much and not willing to go away from them.... most important is i am not willing to go away from the person i love so much.......  what wrong he did in the past to get girlfriend like me.... so , i took this like a very good advice and will be true with the whom i loved....... so , my dear friends don't ever be like me... if u want to play someone.... just for pastime.... just see that person first.. if he a playboy then it is right for you.... if he is not.. better don't... if  you like him better be friend with him for while.. like 2 or 3 months... than you will know what kind of guy he is...... then it is up to you.... that's my life story for now... later on i will update more keep in touch with me in blogger.... bye... :-)